10 things that (in some ways) always is going to be hard for me

Having a mental illness like bulimia and OCD. A part of recovery is accepting the fact that there is some thoughts you just can’t run from. Some thoughts that we may have to fight the rest of our life. But hopefully it keeps getting better and the thoughts keeps getting weaker. 

But accepting this is the first step. Because every time I’m doing better, e.g I’m not throwing up, I always get a bit demotivated because that although I’m not doing it, I still want to, and my thoughts still tell me to do it, and gives me bad conscious. But that is just the way it is. 

Today a friend of mine(that I know from the hospital) had a major set back. And I just felt how important that it is to remember these things, and that a part of recovery is accepting these things. 

So without further ado, here is 10 things that in some ways always is going to be hard for me.

  1. Eating 
  2. Being naked 
  3. Mirrors 
  4. Weight scales
  5. Trying on clothes
  6. Not throwing up
  7. Watching thin people 
  8. Watching people who live a healthy lifestyle 
  9. Watching people throwing up at parties or when they are sick 
  10. Accepting how I look 

I absolutely hate it, but that is just how it is. 

And some people just need to live with this, even people who haven’t got an eating disorder. The important thing is to accept that some things always is going to be a bit hard, which sort of takes away some of the hardness. 

Good luck to all of you! 

All the best 

– R 

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