What to say?(fucked up society) 

I really truly thought that I had it this time, that something amazing had happened, and that I was determined on getting well. But another setback hit me. Since I got back from London I have been throwing up daily again. Which just is not okay. All because that I steped on to the weight scale and discovered that I had gained some weight. 

It makes me wonder, why is it that something so necessary as food can affect my life in such a negative way. Why is it that I’m a victim to our society’s view on the human body. I mean there is so much focus on health, but is it really health? It can’t be healthy that I can’t enjoy food, without being actually scared that I will get fat again. 

And it is not just me. Everyone around me. Even my best friends. They exercise a lot, and worry about what they eat, sometimes skip their meals. This idealistic body and health image has affected all of them as well. And a small thing as this actually also makes it harder for me to get well. Because it is impossible for me to be the only person who eats the most, who focus on happiness instead of being “healthy”, when other people around me don’t. Because a lot of my friends say that they don’t think about these things, but I’m not blind. I can se it. But why. What to say? Nothing. Because no matter what I say I can’t change an entire society. All though it would make it all, a hell of a lot, easier. 

Please tell me what is your view on food, “health”, and body image? 

One positive thing, is that I haven’t been doing self harm since I came back from London, and before London I had a great period where I didn’t cut. And my wrist is actually looking quite well. Which is amazing. But the strongest issues has always been the eating disorder.  And to that I don’t know what to do. 

Therapy is not working, and what else is there? 

All the best 



5 Replies to “What to say?(fucked up society) ”

  1. Society and media are partly contributing to this. I am a big woman, and always felted ashamed of my size. I never thought of myself as huge and I’m not. I’m a UK 16. But the key is to be comfortable with yourself. There is a difference to eating healthy than to eat to lose weight. I am who I am. You have a beautiful soul and it will reflect in your outer appearance. You felt happy while you were away and didnt worry about food or image. Have confidence and believe in yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am said to hear that society affects your perception of you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! I am not small, as you see in pic. I am a ladies size 14, trying to get to a 10 because for health reasons I need to lose about 40 pounds. But, I dress for my size, I have exquisite taste in fashion, and never fail to get a compliment on how I look. A lot of it is my smile and attitude and the way I carry myself. I am super insecure sometimes though because being a white woman important America, you are supposed to be thin. I workout 5 to 6 days a week and eat healthy and I’m still not ideal to most men here. But frankly, I don’t care anymore. Am going to an embassy party tonight and everyone may be a size 4, but I guarantee you that not many will be prettier than I or look as young as I. I focus on what I have that is great: legs, chest, eyes, lips, personality and hair. The weight part sucks, but it is small in comparison to what I have to offer. Plus I a, smart and funny. Now, you make a list. I am sure you have great attributes. God doesn’t make mistakes. I will pray for you to find happiness with yourself. It is a tough road, but you will get there!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, i will make a list! And I’m happy thar you feel this way. But it still pisses me off that size 4 girls are “healthier”, because they probably aren’t. And it pisses me off that you feel like you need to work out 5 times or week, because I’m sure that you are beautiful no matter what! Good luck at the party! 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s