Respect(part 2 of 5)

Part two in the short post series about 5 topics.

I sure have some loud opinions about respect. First of all respect is a really important matter in most cases. But only the sort of respect that is mutual, fair, and chosen.

“Respect your family”                            I grew up with a muslim arabic father, who were very strict, very mad, and very scary. He would preach a lot about respect. “Respect your father, your mother, your brother”. These people they would hit and neglect me. I was more feminin, against violence, different than all of them. And they sure did not respect me. This really gave me a fucked up idea of respect. Because why should I respect these people? 

“Respect your friends”                         At the same time I have had a lot of toxic people in my life, that I ended up cutting of, to protect myself. They didn’t respect me, so again why should I respect them? 

“Respect the elderly”                         This is a mystory for me. I do respect a lot of elderly people, but I do not believe that you just should respect them just because that they have lived a long time. I mean a lot of elderly people are a bit racist and chauvinistic, and honestly I do not respect that. 

“Respect yourself”                             This is actually one of the most important sort of respect from my perspective. I have been dealing with eating disorder, self harm, OCD and anxiety for a lot of years now. And I drink a lot of alcohol and smoke a lot of cigarettes. I lied to myself for a lot of years about my sexuality. So what I am basically saying is, that I haven’t really been respecting myself for a lot of year. But I have made a lot of progress, and now I respect myself much more. And it is honestly the best feeling ever. I know I’m a good person, that I am normal even though I’m gay, and therefore I won’t let bad people get to me, and they can’t, because I respect myself. 

I do not believe that you demand someone to respect you, or that you can expect someone to respect you. Respect is something that you should earn. I respect my best friend Theresa because she always is there for me, because she is a good person and a clever girl. I didn’t respect my mother growing up, but I’m starting to, because she is trying to be a better mom, and for that, I respect her. However I do not respect my dad, because he still is the same person he was when I was growing up. And furthermore I do not respect people who are evil, people who don’t treat each other well, people who don’t give you mutual respect.

Respect yourself, be someone who people will respect. And do not respect anyone who don’t deserve it. 

– R


Patience(part one of 5)

So I’m going to make a mini series, where I post really short posts about four topics. 

Four topics that I feel is important to me right now, at this moment. 

Today’s topic: Patience 

The year is 2016. A lot of things has been invented. A lot of things has developed. And with all these developments, there is a lot of expectation towards things moving fast. We can stream a movie in less than a minute, and if it takes more than that. We complain. I feel like we don’t appreciate stuff that much anymore. We sort of just expect it all to happen. 

I went to see my therapist today, and we talked a lot about patience. How I don’t have it, but how it’s important. 

But why can’t I bare the idea of being patient?

I guess I just never really like the idea of “waiting”. I hate waiting in line, waiting for a delivery, waiting for a guy to text me back. Waiting for a friend. And lately I hate waiting to get well. 

When working with a mental illness, the main key is one step forward, two steps back. And it is so hard when you are dealing with the two steps back. 

If I look one year back, I felt so much worse back then. I threw so much up back then. And I’m doing better in some ways, but there is still really a long way ahead. However, that’s the thing, it does take a long time to recover. And the key is patience. But it is so frustrating to go on everyday, waiting and working to get on with my life.

Also with dating, I feel like we rush into a lot of relationships, because we see what others have and want it for ourselves. Or we fell like our clock is ticking, and if we don’t find someone now, we won’t ever. But again patience is the key, it will happen! May not now, may not tommorow but it will.(At least I hope so).. 

And with so many other things, I feel like we live in a world where things need to happen fast! Things need to be accomplished fast! But why??? 

I mean why the fuck?

Be patient everyone. 

All the best 

– R